You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
did you just send me my own nude
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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