Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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