mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
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