if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
