I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
