somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
