when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
