Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Tornado booty call.. dedication
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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