We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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