you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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