words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
