It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
