oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
this just has baby written all over it
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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