question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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