so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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