the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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