just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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