I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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