69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
