I'm lost and stupid without you.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
