She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
