If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
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I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
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All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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