her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
