I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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