remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
