Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize