Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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