haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
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He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
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He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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