thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
