His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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