Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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