I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
