Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
