hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
