Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize