great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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