i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
