The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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