Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
