no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize