So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
