Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I smell like Dick and happiness
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
