Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She's the barista slut.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
