I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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