Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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