apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
