I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Randomize