Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
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if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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