is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
