Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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