Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
