When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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