White coat. Heels.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
