she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
