Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
