So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
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I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
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can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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