Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It was confusing and full of hummus
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
