my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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