Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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