Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
