She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just blew my weed a kiss
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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