New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize