Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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