I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
