How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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