I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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