i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
