It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
