I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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