I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
