He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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