Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
